You're Not Awkward
A Study on Social Dynamics and the Self
Introduction
You’re not awkward.
Or, more accurately, everyone is awkward.
I’m convinced that no single person on this planet doesn’t feel out of place or socially inept at some time in their life.
Different people experience this differently. Some may feel it every day while others only in certain circumstances once in a blue moon.
But, at the end of the day, we’re all awkward.
The Test
As a homeschooled introvert, I always felt like everyone else was cooler than me.
Everyone else can talk with people.
Making conversation is so effortless for everyone else. Why can’t I do that?
I gave up hope of ever being like everyone else. I decided that being “awkward” was just my cross to bear.
Then, I started looking around.
I began to observe other people in their conversations.
What did I find?
Awkward silences, lack of eye contact, confusion, frustration, etc.
Wait.
Is everyone awkward?
The more I observed, the clearer the answer became.
Yes. Everyone is awkward.
The Revelation
If everyone is awkward, does that mean no one is awkward?
Not to say there aren’t real awkward people (we all know them).
But, there is a certain awkwardness that’s just normal.
In fact, comfort in awkwardness is one of the best ways to describe true friendship.
True friends don’t magically talk for hours all the time without any pauses or stumbles.
True friends are the ones who know each other so well that they understand each other’s silence.
What does this mean?
Does this mean that my awkward silence with an acquaintance is actually good?
Yes.
Does this mean that no one ever actually talks about how awkward I am behind my back?
Probably. I can’t make any promises on that one.
Does this mean I might actually be “cool”?
Yes.
The Impact
This idea changes things.
It changes how we see others and how we see ourselves.
It makes us more gracious towards others knowing that they have the same insecurities we do.
It makes us less envious of others we think are “cool”.
They’re just as awkward as you are.
I challenge you to watch someone like this for a while. Then tell me that they’re still the perfectly cool person you thought they were.
It also makes us think differently of ourselves.
It makes us less negatively introspective.
It takes away the standard of social perfection we had built up in our minds.
It allows us to recognize our limits and live to the fullest within them.
It lets us be who God made us to be instead of who we think we should be.
You are not awkward.
You are who you are, and you can have peace there.
Thanks for reading this small thought piece! This topic has been biting at me for quite some time. So I’m glad to finally get it out there.
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Thanks so much for reading.
God bless,
-Luke
One thing that I almost always come back to is that there is a healthy amout of awkwardness necessary to make a relationship work well. If you're never willing to be in a place of discomfort, than you can't confront relational problems head on, but if you can overcome the awkwardness and get into something deeper, the relationship just gets that much better.
Also it helps to acknowledge our Lord's seeming awkward tension with the culture around Him, and yet, His complete confidence to walk through the world as a truth that didn't mesh well with society. I can live in security, even in awkward moments, knowing that they don't define me, He does.
I definitely am